Five Game Characters I'd Invite to New Years Eve

We are rounding it out, finishing the story of the biggest cross media New Years Eve party I’ve ever hosted. We’ve got a bit of everything , Including Pokémon, Bloggers Anime Characters and now we are up to video game characters. Like every other guestlist I have made, the five guests have to contribute something to the party. Not only because I am mean and lazy, I mean I am lazy but not THAT mean. It’s because I want to set an example that if we can all work together we can throw the most epic party on the fictional  planet where my fictional tropical resort is on. So let’s not waste any time and see which video game characters I’d invite.

Game Guest  1: Donkey Kong : The Bouncer

While everyone is welcome, you still got to have a bouncer, because you still have to have good intentions. When you come to paradise to troll, laugh at the weebs.. or in case you get to drunk and cause trouble you gotta go! Since I would lose a fistfight to a juice box, I really can’t manage this myself. My Pokémon have other things to do.. and one is an evil killer creature, the bloggers I doubt will do much good and I have only two anime characters that could fight..but they have other functions.  I don’t want some gun wielding nutjob like Max Payne or Master Chief to handle my security. I hold a strict no guns policy, unless the guns shoot bubbles. I could have invited Genzo Shibata from Kemono Michi in yesterday’s post but I am afraid of what he will do to my pokémon. I don’t want him to lewd Raticate or Jigglypuff and I don’t want to get suplexed for asking him to deal with someone dressed as a cat girl or something. So I had to make a carefully selected pick. So I of course ended up picking a gorilla what hides in barrels and has a no tolerance policy on piracy. The Kong formerly known as Donkey Jr… Donkey Kong. 

(Such a good bouncer, he even has a suit)

He’s finally here, bouncing for you, if you misbehave you’ll get bounced out too! If you make me cry he will give a slap! As we take you through this Monkey RAP! Huh! DK Donkey Kong! DK Donkey Kong is here! This ape has been a beloved video game hero ever since he tried to rescue his father in Donkey Kong Jr. In Donkey Kong Country he finally took the name of his father who moved on to become Cranky Kong. Thus this Kong never kidnapped Pauline, and thusly has a clean record. Important for a bouncer to have a good record. Punch Out for Wii shown he can fist fight, we see him able to grapple things, he shoots coconuts, which I do not count as a gun but as a gag weapon. He is musical so he can help the band of Jigglypuff and he is very good and hauling barrels. Which means that besides a bouncer I also got someone who can fetch the kegs of beer and barrels of wine. He is indigenous to the tropics so PETA will not bother me either with their silly little nags when it comes down animals in geekdom. And best of all I think Donkey Kong could give some of the best hugs..or crush my spine when doing it after which he would throw fecies at my corpse… he still is a gorilla after all.

(Donkey Kong says he would never do that stuff I said last)

Game Guest 2: Tommy Vercetti : The Designated Driver

While on paradise anyone can have a beach bungalow for the night free of charge, I get that a few people will have to leave early. New years day they visit their family and all of that stuff so I will take care of transportation from and to the island for you.  While Donkey Kong has shown he is capable of driving in the mario kart games I did not think it was a great idea to let an ape pilot a plane or an aquatic vehicle. I mean his cousin Diddy can do that but I am still hoping that Diddy Kong Racing will return one day so I will not be stealing the hatted simian’s time. Big brain tactics going on over here. So rather than give this job to some cutesy little animal I gave the function to Vice City’s greatest narcissist criminal, Tommy Vercetti. I mean the guy has experience with playing taxi for people so he should be perfectly be able to do it. He comes already dressed for a tropical paradise either and he is a master of any vehicle, without gathering skill points or licenses for it. Whether you come by car, boat , plane or even tank Tommy can take care of it. He even might bring a little pick me up for those who are into such things. I am not personally, those things would kill my weak heart and such, but I also do not take a very negative stance against it. To each their own poison and all. So you do you and if Tommy can’t make a sale on the island, we can do a hidden package run all together the next day that sounds like a hoot and a half.

(That suit isn’t that well tailoured I think, I’ll get him a pink suit)

Tommy is used to deal with difficult people, long before he kills them all he helps them with some trivial task like getting them home after a party or the likes, so as long as you are not a big criminal kingpin…or a sex worker…. you will most likely be completely safe when using Tommy as your designated drivers. Just when you review him.. don’t give him five stars.. the military will show up and the party will be a mess. Never give a GTA character 5 stars, it’s a death sentence to them.  Tommy however will take care of you in retro style. The tunes he plays on his radio on the way back keep that party Buzz Buzz going for just a bit longer. How I am sure that he won’t drink an drive? Well Tommy usually only gets wasted when the cops show up or a rival gang tries to take him out, and there are no police or evil gangs on my island. So weirdly Tommy would not get wasted. Tommy can also blend in at the resort very well. He can play a mean round of golf, though Pinkie’s Paradise only has a putt putt course.  He likes investing money into booming business so we might even get an investor of this blog, and even if he is a money hungry criminal.. he isn’t as  money hungry as our next guest.

(Tommy isn’t much of a dancer, so he will stand out from the crowd when you want to go home)

Game Guest  3: Tom Nook:  The financer

Parties like these cost money and that is a resource I do not have. Nearly every wealthy character in gaming is an insane evil soulless  bastard. Handsome Jack will not treat my guests very well nor would Albert Wesker. Ken Masters would probably steal Dark Magician girl from me so he is out as well..he’s kind of a douche anyway.  So let’s look at the more child friendly consoles and series of games. Lara Croft simply wouldn’t be into parties plus I would not know which one of the renitions I would have to invite. Mario should have a lot of coin but whenever he gets hundred bucks he just gains more life essence.. so I doubt he will have over 100 dollars on his account. Which brings me to the most greedy bastard of all. Tom Nook! While he would finance such a triviality as a party without us paying him massive interest this time we will flip the tables around. Amongst all of us we will have laboured many hours for mister Nook, it is time he did something for us in return. If he wants us to buy stuff from him in that new game coming early next year than he better show he is as committed to us as we are to him. You gotta spend a few bells to make more bells. I bet making a raccoon give me money is something PETA will disagree with me on, so I guess I will give Tom Nook a chance to earn some money while financing my party. 

(At least Tom Nook is pleased by my style if he likes Kyary he will like me as well)

So as I told you everyone has a bungalow in Paradise. I guess Tom Nook can sell you all customisations sets for your bungalow should you desire to customise it. Your bungalows will be expandable and if you want to rent a hammock to lie on the beach at New Years Day.. you better bring some cash to pay Tom Nook. He will also rent out the putt putt golf course, for of course a nominal fee, boats, fishing rods and one of those speedboat banana things… new year’s day beach events will all be hosted by Tom. I will be in bed with a hangover anyway so I am honestly not all that bothered.  My bungalow is pink already so I doubt there is aa customisation set I want from and….. OH MY GOD UNICORN WALLPAPER….
Luckily I am immune to Tom Nook’s *cough* charm,  because even after this party is over I still won’t have any money. As soon as I have some though I will spend it on the new Animal Crossing Game of course.

(Sigh.. I should have expected as much)

Game Guest 4: King Knight: The Tabletop Guy 

I love myself a good competition on New Years Eve but Smash would exclude my friend Jilly, the only person in the world who doesn’t like Super Smash Bros so I’d feel said for her to host a big competition like that.  Gaming against each other can also get very insociable , but there is one type of gaming that never does. Tabletop gaming is always neat and cosey. Whether you play a card game, a storytelling game or a co-op adventure you always talk. To save some room at the party, the big board games like Dead of Winter or Fury of Dracula will not be played. To much stuff going on and when drinks spill people will cry. So we opted for a card battling game. Squall is way to emo and a buzzkill to be fun at a party so out with him and Triple Triad. Yugi and Kaiba cheat in their own game, plus the banlist changes about every hour so duel monsters is not viable as well, besides from that I don’t want anyone summoning something that can destroy my Dark Magician girl of my anime character post. Magic doesn’t really have great video game avatars plus it can be a tad elitist and that is not allowed at my party. Gwent is only played by people who love to rip other people to shreds.. so there is only one option left. We shall play Joustus! Since I don’t want to see a big apple fish dancing all the time we also only have one option on who to invite. King Knight.

(If he spins like that on the dancefloor I bet he will make a girl very happy.. and sick)

King Knight is the protagonist in the newest Shovel Knight expansion and it is great. The man has such great flavoring in all of his powers as well as his persona and sense of humor. This make King Knight a perfect party guest. Sure he will think he is superior but the guy is hurting inside and just needs a good cry. Fred might be able to help him, if you read my Bloggers invited post you’ll get that. He is not a great fighter and not that insanely evil… he is just a boy who believes he is a king that’s kinda cute. I am really good at Joustus as well so I could make some serious money at the tables. Maybe even enough to buy that unicorn wallpaper from Tom Nook…dag nabbit!. Joustus is a grid based card games where arrows can indicate movement, you use this to slide pieces around to claim as many “winning” tiles as you possibly can before the board is filled up. However some cards can block being pushed and have special effects and more of that jazz… it actually kinda feels like jousting with all that pushing. King Knight  is forced into the tutorial so he can explain you the finer details, but be warned he cheats. Luckily I don’t have blue fish guys in chests where he buys his cheats from.

(It’s time to J-J-J-J-J-Joustus)

Game Guest  5: Ratchet and Clank :  The Tech Guys

Yes yes I know that’s two characters but they just might as well be one plus it’s my blog so I rule that it counts. With a gaming court, a movie theatre  a fully equipped cocktail bar, a karaoke stage, and a band podium among other facilities there, is a lot of technology to handle. I know nothing of stage lighting and when I blow a fuse in my house I need assistance to realise what happened. So we need tech guys and who is better than Ratchett and Clank. No one really. Though I did consider that grandma from Watch Dogs 3 as well. Ratchett and Clank I’d say would be a lot quicker to respond can have access to difficult to reach spaces and when the party is over they most likely would happily take most of the scrap metal and stuff that is in my way to build weapons from as long as they dont build weapons on the island.  Both are huggable in their own way though I do prefer clank. His solo game I found to be rather enjoyable and I do not like Rachet’s character as much as I do like Clank. Still enough for a good hug though. So yay for cuddly tech support.

(I have no funny comment for this picture so you make one)

What puts Ratchet and Clank a nodge above the other candidates for tech support is their immense creativity. You see Mario is a plumber that can probably fix some leakage or pipes going to the Koopa Kingdom but only if he has the right parts. Being from Brooklyn (yes I am using that one)  he will never have the part that I need and has to wait for the store to open again on January second.I can’t use that sort of behaviour. Ratchet and Clank get the job done .. parts or no parts. If my band’s pyrotechnics do not work THEY will make some for me, if MasterMixMovies projector goes down, they will build me a new one or fix the old one. I can not think of any character that is as flexible as them except for maybe Macgyver but he got badly remade. We can somewhat say the same about this duo, being that their last games haven’t been THAT good, but hey that just means I can employ them cheaper, so Tom Nook is also happy because he is paying their bills.

(It’s fixing time!)

And with this we are all done with the party guest , which means it’s actually time to PARTAY! So everyone who joined me in this adventure, thank you so much for sticking trough untill the end and Happy New Year. Twenty Twenty will be our double digits of hapiness and love! Stay awesome, stay pink, untill we read again, Pinkie is blasting off again! Greetings from Pinkie’s Paradise and Happy Happy New Year.. may the force be with you.

The other Chapters in the New Years Party Arc
-A Pokémon Team For New Years Eve
-Five Bloggers I’d Invite to New Years Eve
-Five Anime Guest I’d Invite to New Years Eve
-Five Movie Characters I’d invite to New Years Eve

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