Weird Pokémon Merchandise

Hey big monster people, its Chibi Pinkie again with a brand new post. Earlier Princess Pinkie send me a bunch of pokemon toys to  look at. Stuff that we do not actually own but for the sake of this story will pretend too. Yet it was still fun to pretend! Though there are a lot of toys I did not really understand.. when I asked Princess Pinkie she just laughed really hard behind her fan thing! Maybe you can figure it out?

The Pokémon Finger Skateboard

Now this one was still a bit fun to play with.. but it’s like super retro like. So once upon a time before fidget spinners were cool and like whatever finger thing is hot right now… like way way way before… back in the late nineties the cool people like unwinded from all their stress by playing with a skateboard for your fingers. It was the age that people went crazy for Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2, the video game and everyone wanted to ollie and grind. So to relax there was this skateboard you could move right and left while wiggling your fingers. The coolest people out there could do tricks with them as well, like kids with Yoyo’s could walk the dog with their Yoyo .. people could do flips and stuff with their fingers. Which was a lot nicer than breaking every bone in your body. For some reason the pokémon company thought , well the finger skateboard market is something we need to get into or maybe it was the finger skateboard companies that thought.. we gotta use pokémon for some ‘sick’ deck designs.  I think SICK was used as a good word back then. So they made some skateboards with pokémon on them.. for your fingers of course. Among a few other pokémon they chose clefairy and pidgeot to feature on their boards because that’s what the cool kids wanted. A dancing moon fairy and that bird Ash gave away. Kinda weird!

The Snorlax Bed or Pikachu Bed

Now this one was sold on Etsy once as a custom product, never officially licensed but it got kinda famous. So famous in fact that there was a more mass produced Pikachu version of it. I think that one had an official licence but I can’t be sure.  You see in Japanese the beds are very different from ours. They are oftenly called Fuuton .. or something like that. They are more like rolls or those big soft things i always crashed into when we were having gymnastics at gym class. Their beds are always like on the floor without any feet or wooden casings .. you just plonf it there.  Snorlax and Pikachu are those kinds of bed.. but do they look comfy I would totally get on. Princess Pinkie told me that I would not be able to hide dirty magazines under it.. but I don’t read a lot of magazines and why would they get dirty? At worst there are some crumbs on them and you can like wipe those off easily. With this bed you can sleep in Snorlax Belly or on Pikachu’s stomach sort off.. there’s like a flap of clothes you can lie under and their head is filled with … well you actually decided cause you have to buy that separately But yeah you can turn their head into a pillow. That’ nice I bet that is a whole lot better than my pillow. These bed thingies cost you about $350 dollars without the filling and without shipping so I guess compared to our beds they are pretty cheap as well.  That’s like the price you pay for a mid quality mattress and those do not look as cute! Sleeping in this Snorlax is definitely a dream for me…but it’s kinda weird you slide into his belly.

Pokémoan

The princess told me that if I ever should get one of those beds I would need to get these toys as well. I do not know what they are but they look like silicon rods based on the kanto starter pokémon. The name is also spelled wrong so maybe these are like bootlegs?  At first I thought they were like decoration.. like some of those african statues.. but when I displayed them on my windowsill people got really upset and embarrassed for some reason so I don’t think they liked them. According to the princess these make you feel good when you are alone and no one wants to give you special hugs, these will make you feel like you are getting special hugs. I don’t really get it though. One is shaped like a charmanders tail, which is kinda cute.. but I just hope they did not cut it off a charmander or it would die. The Bulbasaur one has the bulb on a green stick which confuses me even more.. why not make Ivysaur’s flower? That be prettier than just a seed right? It would make me a lot happier if it was blooming at least.  The squirtle one kinda looks like a squirtle so I found that one the most fun to play with! But It did not have a face so I had to draw one on there. The pikachu one is really weird it’s thin and edgie and looks very frail. It has some weird bulbs and protrusions everywhere so I am not sure what to do with it.. it kinda looks like a toy dagger.. but I don’t like daggering.  For something that doesn’t really look like a toy.. but claims itself to be a toyy.. they sure are expensive. They cost about $70 each.. with some a bit pricier and some being cheaper. Oddly enough there is this website Geekysextoys that sells them combined for $119 dollars. I dont know what a Geekysex is but they have a lot more toys that as confusing as these ones. There was a nice pink octopus I think his name was Burt Plug ..but he was expensive and for some reason I could not buy anything unless I was like 18+
(Thank Arceus I could write his in character. Pinkie Prime)

Pokémon Dakimakura

This one has like a difficult word in the name  but it’s like a weird two sided pillow featuring several pokémon. The weirdest one I found was the dragon ground pokémon Flygon. I like how the pillow it’s depicted on is pink but it kinda looks like it has been hit by toxic. It kinda looks sick staring at you feverishly.. like it is out of breath. This one sold on that Etsy website again. Aside from Flygon there is also one of like Lopunny who mega evolves if you flip the pillow over and vaporeon there’s even one of Sylveon and Glaceon. The last one is kinda cute.. but they kinda all take weird poses. They have these weird look in their eyes..something wild, I can not explain it but it scares me a bit. Like they really wanted to get a belly rub or something. They are made by some studio named Lemon Creme, who are still active on Etsy.. people really like their stuff as they have gotten a five star rating. These pillow casing are made of something called peachskin polyester and will cost you about $70 dollars. I asked on the forums why every poiémon looked like they had a fever but I only got a reply saying ‘no kink shaming’ I think they must not have spoken english very well and that they meant to say .. no Klink.. that’s a shame!  A klink is a cogwheel pokémon that is a steel type.. so it would be immune to poison moves like toxic. So I guess that kinda makes sense but not really. If you know please let me know in the comments okay!  

Pikachu Panties

I like Pikachu but this Pikachu underwear seems a bit unpractical.  There’s like ears attached to it and I dont get why you’d want that on your underwear.  It seems like a really weird way to cosplay Pikachu , going out in your underwear. It’s made by a japanese girl I think who promises on her website that if I am in love while I buy these I will have sleepless nights. So somehow these panties have the power to bestow insomnia,  but only when you are in love. I guess it could be neat if you are still in school and have to study all night for a test or something.. and kids in school these days are like always in love but still it confuses me and seems extremely situational. The Pika ears have a really soft inner lining though so does the panty itself so apparently it is quite comfy.  I just don’t get why you want a Pikachu right there.. if a other person sees what’s underneath they’ll usually be shocked anyway.

Uncle Hulks Pokémon Spandex Suits


I like cosplaying and lot of people like it with me. There a lot of pokémon Kigurumis which is like weeaboo for onesie.  It’s nice to wear but on a convention you don’t really stand out in one of those. A nice man named Uncle Hulk must have thought the same. So he began crafting all sorts of suits. Unfortunately for Uncle Hulk I do not think these work out that well… they are kinda creepy and weird looking. It kinda looks like a character from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure poached a pokémon than wore their skin as a suit. If a pokémon ever would try to enter a Pokéleague looking like that they would be dragged off for X Attack abuse.  The lucario one also looks kinda cross eyed. They would fail a doping test harder than Lance Armstrong would.. which is quite bad. So even though Uncle Hulk means well I think unless you want to scare someone so hard that their soul exits their body these bodysuits don’t measure up.

Slowpoke Tail Plushie

W-W-Why? Why would they do this? It’s a plushie of a severed pokémon part which you can buy for about $15 dollars. You can see the blood and the bone still being there.  While I know that slowpoke tail as a delicacy and item in the pokémon world it seems kinda weird to make a plushie of it. You can’t eat it after all. I don’t think many people would be happy with a severed arm plushie.. so why a severed tail Plushie? It seems rather horrifying.  In Pokémon Gold and Silver we discover that Team Rocket has taken over the slowpoke well and is cutting of the tails to sell them off at huge prices so it is a quest line. The item is even depicted with an icon that looks like it in the later games. Yet a plushie is usually collected because it is cute. I do not really think the concept of this tail is cute.. nor would I feel any need to hug a severed tail.. and I am me! I’d hug my bags of garbage to say goodbye to one of my beloved mugs that fell or I’d hug a sponge because I imagined it alive while cleaning the house.  Still a severed tail is not going to happen for me.. even if I feel bad for the tail now that I say it. There is also a keychain variant/lucky charm for t and oddly enough that one I kinda get… but an actual plushie is kinda spooky. The item is sold on Etsy by a shop named SewMeARiver if you are interested. It’s a lot soften nicer and cheaper than those other stick things at least, even if its a severed limb plushie!

Question to my Readers:

Which one of these would you get?

Now there still are quite a few pokémon oddities to find out there, in fact the weirdest isn’t even on here yet.  I do hope you enjoyed our little peek in the weirder pokémon goodies out there and Chibi Pinkie’s views on them. Do note that all these goodies have been found without bypassing any age restrictions or the likes I crawled in the mindset of Chibi and this is what a little  time of google and adjacent pages had me find!

The Pinkest Poké Blogger is blasting off again!
XO
Pinkie

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